Golden Life Living with Charise

The Optimistic Mindset

5/15/2019

Optimism is a mindset. Optimists do not have everything and things do not always go as they may wish. Being optimistic does not mean negating or ignoring other human emotions such as anger, disappointment, fear, sadness, and so on. An optimistic mindset is about accepting the curve balls that life throws us, getting the lesson, and knowing that when the season passes that there is a purpose for their survival.

Tips for shifting your mindset to an optimistic point of view

Expect good things. A lot of people always look for the worst. There is power in our mindset and the results of what we attract. Let’s be realistic, stuff happens from time to time.
Activate gratitude. Take time out daily to reflect and be grateful for what you do have. This will alleviate you focusing on the wrong things.
Limit negativity. Minimize the time you spend around negative nellies. Be mindful of the stories you read in the media and on social media. Take time out to disconnect.

Optimism does not negate realism and is not about subscribing to a Pollyanna view of life. While life is not all roses all the time, we have to trust that when we survive the detours there is a greater purpose. You cannot get to this purpose when you are wallowing in regret or with a ‘woe is me’ attitude.

“Cultivate optimism by committing yourself to a cause, a plan or a value
system. You'll feel that you are growing in a meaningful direction which
will help you rise above day-to-day setbacks.” ~ Robert Conroy

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Creating Your Ultimate Love Story

5/9/2019

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Self-love is defined as “regard for one's own well-being and happiness.” Unfortunately when we hear the word love most rarely think of self. We probably place too much emphasis on being selfless and externalities. Let’s be honest, we are programmed to seek and nurture love outside of ourselves with romantic comedies subliminally convincing us we need someone to complete us.

The truth is true love begins with the love songs and stories that we create within ourselves. In my observations, the most bitter, cruel, and ugly acting people are those who lack a love of self. Unfortunately, their acts and behaviors are at the consequences of others - an attempt to transfer their ills to another. This was my first hand experience in an abusive marriage. My epiphany came with the realization that this individual could not love me because he did not even love himself. There also came a period of reflection on how I was not loving myself in subjecting myself to treatment that was not a reflection of love.

Instead of focusing on the external ways in which we may or may not receive love let us instead turn our attention to loving ourselves, first and foremost. Self-love. Let us stop looking for extrinsic love and learn to master intrinsic love. When one practices self-love it opens up a space to be open and receptive to external love. Even greater, you attract the right kind of people into your life because in essence your aura changes. You function from a space of clarity in what you want in your life.

Three Tips to Activate Self-Love
1. Show yourself unconditional love. Unconditional love is recognizing that we all fall short but not berating ourselves in this area. Dote on your positive attributes and strengths. These are the areas we should focus on and build up.
2. Treat yourself. Stop putting off the things you want to do and see in the hopes of finding someone to do these things with you. Date yourself and plan sporadic play dates for a party of one. (Hint: Check out meetup if you absolutely need to interact with others)
3. Find your happy. Use this time to discover what really makes YOU happy. Do more of these things.

It is time to focus on loving yourself first. Prepare yourself to be amazed at how you will attract what you nurture.

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Living Unfearfully

1/30/2019

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Let’s jump right in. To begin, living unfearfully is not indicative of not heeding warnings. Fear is a beneficial and life sustaining mechanism. It is there to alert you of danger. To that end, there are those that allow fear to reign in their life, in affect allowing it to become a paralyzing condition. Truth be told, fear simply vibes off our own energy. While it is there to offer us protection, it is not savvy enough to discern between a real threat and nervousness.

What is it about fear that allows it to have such a stronghold in our lives.? Fear of failure. Fear of success. Fear of the unknown. Fear of the known. There is not a rule that exists that indicates we only get one win in life. You can have as many wins as you want, if you are willing to put in the work. Learn to shift your focus from what can go wrong to what can go right. In fact, learn to dismiss the concept of this idea of wrong. Everything is an opportunity to learn and grow – a lesson for your overall improvement.

Below are some steps to take to begin moving towards living unfearfully.

Exploration. Be willing to try something different. A new way of doing things. Something that challenges you and the status quo on something.
Give fear a name. Yes, you read that correctly…give your fear a name. Personalize it because it is not going anywhere. Remember, it does serve a purpose. Make fear your friend, not your foe.
Check it. Tell your fear when it’s protection is not required. Make it go have a seat while you work to unlock areas of unexplored potential.

To embrace the concept fully, we must learn to live a life with unabashed courage, throwing caution to the wind, and live unfearfully to achieve our big vision picture for our lives. This may not come to your overnight but continue to work at it and see how things begin to take shape in your life.

Wishing you a golden week,

Charise

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