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Golden Life Living with Charise

Overcoming Our Fears

5/29/2019

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The acronym for the term fear is ‘False Expectations Appearing Real.’ Let’s further dissect what this means. Fear is defined as “a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc…whether the threat is real OR imagined.” Here, I am going to focus on the ‘imagined’ aspect of this definition. When it comes to our aspirations, dreams, and goals the only real threat to making strides and achievements is ourselves. I speak from experience, when I say that we will convince ourselves of a million and one ways of why we cannot do something. I think this is normal; however, it should not deter what you want to achieve. But, what typically will happen is that you will have someone who gives an opinion that aligns with your fear and you find yourself stuck, avoiding, or tossing your dream altogether. It’s your dream, not theirs. Do not look for a co-conspirator in killing your dream. Furthermore, it is your dream. What would they know about what you want to achieve in that arena?
 
The reality is that if you surround yourself with individuals pursuing the same course you will quickly discover that your inhibitions are not solely your own. Your cohorts will have had the same thought process and issues. Thus, they will give you a fix to your “mind” problems (yes, it is all in your head) and encourage you every step of the way. This is what I am discovering as I pursue writing. There is not a problem that I have cajoled in my head that is exclusive or new to the writing community. In fact, my instructor will say, “I have a fix for that.” and “Oh, I have a fix for that too.” If I did not have her to say she has a fix, guess what? The books on writing and writing guides have a fix also. I have yet to find something in this particular area where an issue I am experiencing is exclusive and no one knows what I am talking about. So, get out of your own way today and start living your dream.
 
Tips:
  1. Dream big.
  2. Most dreams do not happen overnight. Be persistent in pursuing your course.
  3. Ensure that you are actively working towards achieving your dream.
  4. Step outside of your comfort zone. No one said the road would be easy.
  5. Follow your heart. People are different…my work life is different from my dream life; these are two separate entities for me. For others that fast-track career is their dream and they thrive from it.
  6. Share It. You are not looking for feedback or advice. You’re just simply putting out into the universe what you want to achieve in your lifetime. But, people who are in your corner will ask and inquire about your progress, thus making you accountable.
  7. Your dream is about doing something that you love.
  8. It will not be easy, but push ahead anyway.
  9. Think positive thoughts – no negative energy.
  10. Your dream, in essence, is your passion.

“We spend most of our lives cutting down our ambitions because the world has told us to think small. Dreams express what your soul is telling you, so as crazy as your dream might seem–even to you–I don’t care: You have to let that out.” ~ Eleni Gabre-Madhim
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Make Small Commitments. Get Big Changes.

5/22/2019

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This piece requires no introduction, but is definitely worth sharing with others. Read it. Share it. Review it often. Enjoy it.
 
Make Small Commitments. Get Big Changes.
by Michael Dalton Johnson
 
Taking Care of You
Drink plenty of water.
Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a pauper.
Eat more fruits and vegetables and eat less that is manufactured in processing plants.
Avoid eating food that is handed to you through a window.
Live the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm and Empathy.
Play more games.
Read more books than you did last year.
Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
Sleep for 7 hours.
Take a 10-30 minute walk daily. And while you walk, smile.

Your Outlook
Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
Don't have negative thoughts of things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
Don't overdo. Keep your limits.
Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
Don't waste your precious energy on gossip.
Dream more while you are awake.
Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
Forget issues of the past. Don't remind others of their past mistakes.
Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
Learn a new word every day.
Smile and laugh more.
You don't have to win every argument.

Your Relationships
Call your family often.
Each day give something good to others.
Forgive everyone for everything.
Spend time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of 6.
Try to make at least three people smile each day.
What other people think of you is none of your business.
Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

Your Life
The worst promise you can break is one made to yourself.
Do the right thing!
Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
You don't have a soul. You are a soul. You have a body.
However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
The best is yet to come.
When you awake alive in the morning, thank God for it.
Your Innermost Self is always happy. Follow it.
No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

Keep these rules handy and review them often. Follow them and small, almost imperceptible, changes will accumulate into something big. Your life will change.
 
Source: http://www.salesdog.com/newsletter/2011/nl0529.htm
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The Optimistic Mindset

5/15/2019

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​Optimism is a mindset. Optimists do not have everything and things do not always go as they may wish. Being optimistic does not mean negating or ignoring other human emotions such as anger, disappointment, fear, sadness, and so on. An optimistic mindset is about accepting the curve balls that life throws us, getting the lesson, and knowing that when the season passes that there is a purpose for their survival. 

Tips for shifting your mindset to an optimistic point of view
  1. Expect good things. A lot of people always look for the worst. There is power in our mindset and the results of what we attract. Let’s be realistic, stuff happens from time to time.
  2. Activate gratitude. Take time out daily to reflect and be grateful for what you do have. This will alleviate you focusing on the wrong things.
  3. Limit negativity. Minimize the time you spend around negative nellies. Be mindful of the stories you read in the media and on social media. Take time out to disconnect.

Optimism does not negate realism and is not about subscribing to a Pollyanna view of life. While life is not all roses all the time, we have to trust that when we survive the detours there is a greater purpose. You cannot get to this purpose when you are wallowing in regret or with a ‘woe is me’ attitude.
“Cultivate optimism by committing yourself to a cause, a plan or a value
system. You'll feel that you are growing in a meaningful direction which
will help you rise above day-to-day setbacks.” ~ Robert Conroy
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